This week's winner of "Bizarre convo of the week"

Mark Weston · Post by **Mark Weston** » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:42 pm

So I was minding my own business one jump from Jita, fiddling with some trade stuff, when I got a convo request from a name I didn't recognise. Well I like to think I'm a friendly fellow, so I answered.

What followed was a conversation during which there were several moments when I just sat staring at my monitor with no idea what to say.

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Channel ID: 2120261121
Channel Name: Private Chat (TwoMonkeys)
Listener: Mark Weston
Session started: 2007.06.04 14:20:22
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[ 2007.06.04 14:20:27 ] TwoMonkeys > hi
[ 2007.06.04 14:20:42 ] TwoMonkeys > are you looking for a pilot?
[ 2007.06.04 14:21:27 ] Mark Weston > your looking for a corp to join?
[ 2007.06.04 14:21:49 ] TwoMonkeys > no i need a captain
[ 2007.06.04 14:22:31 ] Mark Weston > Not sure I understand you.
[ 2007.06.04 14:23:11 ] TwoMonkeys > I have a Brutix Battle Cruiser, im looking for a boss,
[ 2007.06.04 14:23:38 ] Mark Weston > ah, for a gang?
[ 2007.06.04 14:23:50 ] Mark Weston > Sorry, I'm just here in a cargo ship, doing a bit of trade
[ 2007.06.04 14:23:57 ] TwoMonkeys > dont know what you mean.
[ 2007.06.04 14:24:18 ] TwoMonkeys > i cant leave station without a captain can i
[ 2007.06.04 14:24:32 ] Mark Weston > yes you can
[ 2007.06.04 14:24:33 ] TwoMonkeys > ?
[ 2007.06.04 14:24:36 ] TwoMonkeys > how
[ 2007.06.04 14:25:21 ] TwoMonkeys > my old captain fired me, now i have to get a new captain until he releases me from my slaveship
[ 2007.06.04 14:25:52 ] TwoMonkeys > then i can earn my own money
[ 2007.06.04 14:26:23 ] Mark Weston > I think someone's been telling you fibs.
[ 2007.06.04 14:27:32 ] TwoMonkeys > oh
[ 2007.06.04 14:28:11 ] Mark Weston > you should have an undock button at the bottom of your "neocon" (the toolbar with all the buttons)
[ 2007.06.04 14:28:22 ] TwoMonkeys > yes i do
[ 2007.06.04 14:28:40 ] Mark Weston > So, well, feel free to undock
[ 2007.06.04 14:28:40 ] TwoMonkeys > but i can only press it if my captain tells me otherwise I will die wont i?
[ 2007.06.04 14:28:45 ] Mark Weston > no
[ 2007.06.04 14:29:07 ] Mark Weston > you are in high-security space, anyone who tried shooting you will get destroyed by the CONCORD police
[ 2007.06.04 14:29:18 ] TwoMonkeys > oh
[ 2007.06.04 14:29:21 ] Mark Weston > look, have you run the EVE tutorial yet?
[ 2007.06.04 14:29:57 ] TwoMonkeys > no, my old captain said that was a waste of time
[ 2007.06.04 14:30:25 ] Mark Weston > run the tutorial ASAP. I think you'll be a lot clearer on how things work after you've done that.
[ 2007.06.04 14:30:42 ] TwoMonkeys > ok i will thankyou
[ 2007.06.04 14:31:13 ] Mark Weston > np
[ 2007.06.04 14:31:29 ] TwoMonkeys > have a nice day
[ 2007.06.04 14:31:51 ] Mark Weston > cya

I'd like to think that was a happy ending, but I can't help feeling the tutorial just isn't going to be enough to help this guy. I really doubt his experience of the EVE universe is going to be a positive one.

Post by **Chin LoPan** » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:55 pm

Eek. Send monkey-boy to EVE-University.

Ghan Tylous · Post by **Ghan Tylous** » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:59 pm

Funny people you sometimes meet in EVE. But poor guy.

Auri Hella · Post by **Auri Hella** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:12 am

I have an inkling that you may have been fooled there

Gut Punch · Post by **Gut Punch** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:58 am

Chin LoPan wrote:Eek. Send monkey-boy to EVE-University.

They got enough on their hands! They don't need this too

Kalmanaka · Post by **Kalmanaka** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:21 am

They need someone to replace Eric.

Eruraviel · Post by **Eruraviel** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 5:51 am

hmm .. sounds like he is just being funny .. he's flying a BC ... !!! should least know that he doesnt' need a "Captain" to undock him .. .hmmm ... lol

Belid Hagen · Post by **Belid Hagen** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:30 am

Kalmanaka wrote:They need someone to replace Eric.

Eric left?

Mark Weston · Post by **Mark Weston** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:14 am

Eruraviel wrote:hmm .. sounds like he is just being funny .. he's flying a BC ... !!! should least know that he doesnt' need a "Captain" to undock him .. .hmmm ... lol

I did have a couple of "he's taking the piss!" moments. But the start date on his bio was only May 28th. It wasn't a scam (he didn't ask for anything). So who knows...

Kalmanaka · Post by **Kalmanaka** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:50 pm

Yeah, Eric left before we did. I think he got tired of the constant comments and harassment. Give him a few years and when his bal^H^H^H voice drops he'll be okay.

(edited)

Belid Hagen · Post by **Belid Hagen** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:53 pm

I didn't want to go that far because this is a public forum Kal, so thanks for being the one

Kalmanaka · Post by **Kalmanaka** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:09 pm

doh!

edited: wasn't funny enough for a public forum.

Post by **Chin LoPan** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:40 pm

Kalmanaka wrote:Yeah, Eric left before we did. I think he got tired of the constant comments and harassment. Give him a few years and when his bal^H^H^H voice drops he'll be okay.

Yeah, and guess who I saw and was briefly convo'd by in Masalle? According to Eric, he left E-UNI, and joined a corp that was in BRUCE, but the corp was then kicked? I didn't get a full history, as I had to scoot from system. So, he's apparently flying around the VV region, so you might see him around if you are trying the Masalle to Reb route...

Mark Weston · Post by **Mark Weston** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 3:42 pm

Chin LoPan wrote:Yeah, and guess who I saw and was briefly convo'd by in Masalle? According to Eric, he left E-UNI, and joined a corp that was in BRUCE, but the corp was then kicked? I didn't get a full history, as I had to scoot from system. So, he's apparently flying around the VV region, so you might see him around if you are trying the Masalle to Reb route...

NRDS, Damnit!

Belid Hagen · Post by **Belid Hagen** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:07 pm

The Belid Hagen - forum warrior extraordinaire fanclub, would be willing to open its doors to pew pew'y pilots